"Magic is Real"

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“Magic is real,” Hannah said as they wrapped up their weekly divination for the week. It was quite synchronous. Right before they said that, I was thinking that exact phrase in my head. I need to bring this sort of energy in as I drag myself through the slog of the times we live in.

I need to inject this feeling into my veins, because I have been shrinking from my own magic. Ever since the end of my stint as a teaching assistant for a session of Mourning Light Divination’s Spiritual Death Worker training, I have had difficulty claiming my own power. I really was humbled in that class when teaching a societal death work class for the first time, which left me swirling in self-doubt. I think I learned as much as I taught, especially how to to translate societal death work to times of genocide. I also had to learn hard lessons in how to hold space for people throwing repeated passive aggressive attacks at me. Ultimately, I realized that it’s best to take what constructive criticism you can from folx and let the personal element of the attack just slide away. Some folx really don’t want to be in community with people who aren’t 100% on the same page as them. That’s fine with me. Just leave me the fuck alone. I won’t let any person suck me into some endlessly swirling black hole based on someone not being willing to direct their attention in more useful directions as people are being bombed into oblivion.

I know that sounds like I got it all figured out, but honestly, it’s taken five months to be able to break through and write that paragraph. In my reading with Hannah this month, they noted I still have work to do with shedding this experience. When Hannah said that, I chuckled to myself, because I know that I needed to acknowledge and move beyond that experience. For me, that means writing about it, acknowledging where I can improve, and recommitting to taking up space with my death work.

The taking up space bit is the most important. The biggest hurdle I have had to overcome with shedding this experience is being willing to just openly practice my death work, write about it, and continuing planning. Look, I still have a lot to learn with death work. I am not pretending to be an expert. Making mistakes will happen. However, I won’t let one bad experience stop me from my practice. Will I teach death work anytime soon? Absolutely not. I can, however, make a choice to continue to practice without feeling any need to teach others. If I ever teach again, I would be best served teaching beginners who have less familiarity with concepts of social death. The folx I was teaching in that spiritual death worker training were old pros who really didn’t have much they could learn from me.

That’s all I am ever gonna say about that. I am done with it. May those people who still wish me harm be lost in the consequences of their own ill deeds. May those who wish to control others be lost in the consequences of having no control over their own actions. I say this with harm to none. May I cut the cord to this experience and move forward with the lessons I have gleaned toward my own goals of furthering the liberation of all people with harm to none.

Two weeks ago, in an effort to really work my magic, I decided to stitch some protection amulets for friends who I felt needed some extra boundary protection. It had been some time since I finished my last fiber spell: a week or two, so I felt the need to flex my fiber spell muscles. This decision was influenced by following the guidance of Hannah’s weekly divination, which prompted our community to consider how we can use our power to help others, ways to bring on additional protection for ourselves, and heed the call of angelica who wanted to be present in our workings. As a practitioner of boundary magic, this was a perfect call to work some magic for friends who I intuited might benefit from some help.

I gathered all my tools, needles, organic hemp canvas, and necessary potions. I cleared all my tools, threads, and canvas with lavender water. Then I blessed everything with my everyday protection spray before stitching a little pouch, a little button, and my own boundary sigil on the pouch. I stitched the boundary sigil on the left side of the pouch, so it will protect the wearers hearts when used. Then I went to the apothecary and filled each of the pouches with dried angelica. I buttoned the pouches closed and then delivered them via bicycle. So far, there have been reports that the pouch has been useful from the recipients.

The ability to ply fiber spells is all I can ask for as a person who wants to respect their power as a magic practitioner. I want to honor my mom’s memory by carrying forward her own magical fiber spell practices, one of my closest held wishes. I was reminded of how much I miss her this week when I was in the throws of decided how to carry forward with this work given my experience teaching my first death work-related class. She lived an enchanted world of her own creation. When she died, I vowed to carry that flame forward for my family. I won’t let that light be snuffed out. I will tend to the flame, do the necessary shadow work to be worthy of the flame, and keep my practice going in service to the greater good. I will die knowing that magic is real and that I have done everything I can to spread its reach in the world.

Photo Essay - Everyday Life is Praxis/Magic

Thanks for being here, hoss. I appreciate you. Magic is all around us. May we continue to show up for it everyday so that we may really be making the most of our days.

Until next time, dear reader,

James